A Non Vegan Partner

Here’s a question…and its a biggie….what happens if I make the choice to be a vegan and I am with a meat eater? This is a question that comes up a lot. Often it can be difficult to explain to a meat eating partner that you need to change the way you eat and often a partner does not understand that now you are aware of the suffering you cannot actually do anything to change your mind back again. Turning vegan is often a one way road. It is almost impossible for a vegan who has made the choice for ethical reasons to go back to eating animals. I have been a vegan for almost two years and a vegetarian for nine years and the thought of eating even the smallest amount of meat turns my stomach. It is hard for a vegan not to see part of an animals body infront of them, be it diced into small pieces or just a plain lump of body on a plate. That is how vegans see meat.

The first thing that you need to do is talk to your partner. Don’t just tell them and leave it at that, you must sit down and really explain what is going on with you. Talk about what you have seen or read and explain that you have not made the decision to be annoying or that you are going through a phase, explain that it is an emotional time for you and that you are not sure how difficult it will be either. Now, a few things may happen here. You may find that understanding comes easy, your partner will accept your choices although he may still wish to eat meat in the house and you should try and live with this for the time being, you may be really lucky and your partner might start to see that you have a good point and maybe join you (I was lucky in this respect however my partner was a vegetarian – he was vegetarian way before me actually and I used to eat meat when we were first together – can’t quite believe it now but I do know how difficult it is to see the suffering if you don’t want to). The tougher situation comes when there is little or no understanding and you are laughed at or scorned for your choice. In these cases your choices may well put a strain on your relationship and I would say if you are not respected in your choices then maybe you need to look at your relationship and work on communication and acceptance.

What about my family? In my experience I have found that when children know what is involved in making meat, they often choose not to eat it. I do not believe ignorance is bliss. My children are both too young to understand yet I am raising them as vegetarians (I would raise them as vegans if I had enough food options but I live in Northern Norway and it is difficult to provide them with all they need as they are growing). I believe when they are older they will be pleased I did not include the eating of dead animals in their lifestyle. Try talking to your family and I would really not suggest a sudden removal of all the things your family loves from the fridge and cupboards. Gradual is better and learning to cook great vegan food is the best way to win your family over!

I will be adding more recipes to the site soon but don’t think that being vegan means you must eat rabbit food (I hear that a lot). My favourite meals are veggie chilli and coconut rice, Mediterranean Vegetable Paella, veggie burgers and potato wedges, hummus and salad in pitta bread, Pasta with garlic, walnuts and olive oil and Mushroom and Lentil Curry with Pilau Rice. Be adventurous and explore the new food choices available to you and be strong in yourself. You know you have made the right choice but it probably took you some time. Give others that choice too but any time you can raise their awareness without shoving it in their face 24/7 (which is tempting), then go ahead!

Good luck, my thoughts are with you all x